Ways to Annoy People

I can’t remember important things like: putting on pants, GRE strategies, birthdays, my birth control but I sure as hell can quote some of the dumbest most awesome movies pretty much from beginning to end. Don’t ever watch these movies with me. I can’t help myself.

See if you can figure out what some of my faves are (they're pretty easy):

"and I could see the squirrels, and they were married"

"and you must be the monopoly guy!"

"it's only the biggest goddamn hole in the world!"

"Let's hear for ma band, Sexual Chocolate"

"Look what ya did, ya little jerk"

"Rumplestiltskin?"

"Yeah, where can I get some damn bait?"

"c... o... r... are you going to the mall later, that's what I'm asking"

"I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom."

"the fact my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant"

"mista, mista! Get meee outtaaa heree!"

"In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight"

"Man, you're crazy. I like you... butchercrazy"

"Mer - MAN!"

"our pet's heads ARE FALLIN OFF!!!"

"Tits Magee is on vacation"

"Your mama sure do care about your education, boy. mmm, mmm, mmm."

"Let's play tummy sticks..."

"Is this hotel pager friendly?" (I'm not 100% yet with this movie)

"Is Rusty still in the Navy?"

"Nice night for a neck injury!"

"Yeah? And you're ugly."

"I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. You have the handwritin' of a serial killer."

"I want the one on the left, she's perfect."

"Boats and hos!" (still learning this one, too)

"take the little sticks out of your head, clean out your ears."

"I love breakfast!"

"You should keep your ho on a leash."

"MAL-I-BU   BAR-BIE."

Lots of others but these are the ones I know the best. This is probably not something to brag about.

I’ve had this “talent” since childhood. I’m also pretty good with music lyrics. Why can’t I remember anything useful?